Wednesday, October 7, 2009

World Gone Wrong Pt 2


The spring air was easing its way through Ron's open window, rustling the cheap plastic blinds. He was lying in bed, enjoying his tea and saltines, when without warning, Phoenix Sixfinger came crashing through his bedroom window. Ron waited until Phoenix has brushed the glass from his body and his own shock to subside before he asked, “What the hell is a matter with you?” Phoenix's expression was grim. He stood frozen in the middle of the room.

“I'm sorry to intrude like this. Louise and all her things are gone. I fear she may have been lured away by my first mate Sam the Donkey.”

“Why do you think it was Sam?” Ron asks.

“I think it was him because he once stole a picture of Louise that I kept in my cabin.”

Ron and Sam go way back. Ron once worked as Sam's campaign manager when he ran for governor of West Virginia as a democrat. Sam lost in a landslide and blamed it on the fact that his parties mascot is a stupid jackass. Due to their close relationship Ron doesn't think for a moment that Sam is capable of kidnapping.

“My friend,” Phoenix began, “I am sorry about your window. I need help in finding my beloved Louise. I will pay for the window and reward you greatly if you help me find her and kill Sam.”

“Okay, I will help you. It might be nice to have Saltines that aren't stale.” Ron responded.

The first stop Phoenix and Ron made in their quest was a place called The Laundromat. It was and actual laundromat and dry cleaners run by Vladimir and his wife Ninotchka. Vladimir had once been arrested in France for robbing people of millions and having twenty-two paternity suits filed against him by pretending to be Serge Gainsbourge and then again in England for selling cocaine to an unspecified member of the royal family. This was many years ago and he's been on the straight and narrow since.

Phoenix and Ron walked in through the front door and found the place empty except for Ninotchka. After a quick, friendly greeting, Phoenix asked her if she's seen Louise recently.

“I haven't seen Louise. Vlad's is jail again. I'm left to run this god-forsaken place all on my own.”

“Why's Vlad in jail?” Ron asked, trying to sound as sympathetic as possible.

“He's in jail because he supposedly ruined the mayor's shirt. The mayor's an evil prick. His people came by, picked up the shirt, and left. An hour later four men in suits carrying pistols came in. They tore the place apart and informed us the starch we use could be used to make chemical weapons, then they arrested Vladimir. I haven't seen or heard from him since. Bastard's probably killed him. It's like being back in Soviet Russia. You know Stalin killed my grandfather.

“Dear God woman. What do you intend on doing about all of this?” Ron asked stupefied.

“Nothing. I am powerless.”

“Well ma'am, I'm sorry to hear about Vladamir, but you say you haven't seen Louise anywhere.”

“No.” Ninotchka responded coldly to Phoenix.

Phoenix turned and made his way towards the door. Ron lingered for a moment. “Keep the faith,” he said to to Ninotchka before he handed her a ten dollar gift certificate to the Pioneer Chicken Stand.

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